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SILLY’S RESTAURANT “As far as we can discern, the universe is a very SILLY place,” Einstein admits, at long last, from a swinging sign in Portland on Washington Ave. Inside, the restaurant takes up the bold and—dare I say?—silly task of eclipsing said universe into one small room and modest patio. Visual feast. Beaded lights and paper stars suspend from a painted tin ceiling. Diner style seats measure in at different heights to allow just enough elbow room. Condiments fight for table-top space with card decks and that mini plastic fishing game with the hinged, open mouths and magnetic poles—you know? You’ve got one of the sticker eyes on your sleeve again. I swear a jelly-fish just floated by...

Silly’s walls are, quite literally, stacked with framed photos that have been gifted by the restaurant’s loyal following. From the Hagia Sophia to a dinghy on a Thai beach to your second cousin’s wedding, the restaurant’s signature sticker is bumpered on people and places in each and every frame. It’s a small testament to Silly’s authenticity—since 1988. Applebees, eat your heart out. Grab a sticker at the counter and memorialize yourself in Portland pilgrimage history.  

The food is no less cultured. The Et Tu, Tofute (breaded organic fried Tofu and hand cut fries with spicy dip—$8.95) will, actually, not disappoint; also, you get to ride the fine line between health and heart-failure, maintaining your Zen in an act of non-dualism. The Diesel (American cheese, coleslaw, pix, smoked pulled pork, & warm BBQ sauce—$7.25) and Bio Diesel (no cheese and fried Tofu and tomato in place of pork—$6.75) politicize dinner conversation. And the No Smoochie Tonight (pizza with sausage, ricotta, onions, and loads of garlic—$6.95/$16.75) adds levity to the awkward blind date.

In other noteworthy news, Silly’s is the only Maine eatery I am aware of that bothers with a vegan/vegetarian menu without catering, strictly, to that crowd. It’s famous for clever spins on old-fashioned milkshakes and an extensive selection of Abdullah wraps. Other curiosities include fried pickles, Rice Krispie squares, and a framed and matted tortilla with miraculous imprint of Jesus' face (not for sale). I haven’t spotted any crutches or canes yet, but, given customer devotion, I’m sure there are ex votos somewhere in the mix. I know, at least, I feel a little bit healed with every visit.

HOURS: Tuesday through Saturday, 11:30 a.m. Closed Monday and holidays. EAT IN OR TAKE OUT. Beer and wine. eatatsilly’s@yahoo.com. (207) 772.0360.